I saw Krista's note where she said she felt lazy for not doing more when she sees stories like yours...
You've obviously made do the best you can in your dealings with TM, although you mention that daily stresses in a chair are trying. I look towards people like yourself for inspiration. You work full time and are getting married which is awesome...congratulations on both accounts.
I commend you on being able to have the mental attitude to make the best of your situation....I am having a very rough time with that right now...and I'm not in a chair. I can walk very short distances with a cane. So, like I said, I look towards people like yourself for that inspiration and the hope that someday I'll have recovered or at least be able to accept any recovery I have gained and make the best of that.
Krista, First, I'll say I'm a TM newbie (May 14th 2008) and I'll also say that I don't have the Recurrent TM (as of yet anyway), I have one lesion at L4,L5 and S1 and also one on my brain. My TM was sudden onset (within 3 1/2 hours).
Yes, it is hard sometimes when you see others that are as bad or worse off than you like Angela you mentioned. They seem to be "dealing with things", considering. I often wonder how people like that do it.
When my TM hit I was reading up on everything I could find and when I saw that there was a chance at recovery, I was like, I'm gonna work my tail off and get there.. I want to be "normal" again. I'll tell you, I'm as stubborn and bullheaded as they come so I knew I was going to whip this.
Well, that was 6 months ago...I know, not a very long time. I still want to make some recovery, but after dealing with this now for 6 months and dealing with the pain and the fatigue and not sleeping and my internal thermostat being totally out of whack and the spasms and the bowel "issues" and everything else... Some of the wind has unfortunately been taken out of my sails.. This is a hell of a lot harder to deal with than I would have ever imagined.
I still work my butt off in physical therapy and I do everything my Neuro and my Phys. Therapist tells me to do...but, man....
Krista, don't feel like you are lazy for not doing more...it sounds like you have alot on your plate already...with the kids and a family that isn't as supportive as they could be, probably because they truly have NO idea what you are going through.
It would be wonderful if we all had the drive and ambition that some others do, or even the mental attitude to just make the best of the cards they've been dealt.
I'm having a terribly tough time with that myself...I want the "old" me back so bad but my mind tortures me. I try so hard to make little bits of recovery and if isn't going at the pace I want my mind takes over. I get so frustrated and depressed that I stagnate with my recovery. I can't shake that mental thing yet. I spent this whole past Wednesday crying like a fool because I was feeling so defeated. I got up out of bed Thursday and back at it I went.
I guess my point is, you're not alone in the feelings you're having. You have the additional task of 3 young children to take care of which would be tough enough for a "normal" person.
All I can say...is just do the best you can and don't beat yourself up about anything..(I know...coming from me after what I just told you...where I beat myself up all the time)
The only other thing, is your Neuro...are they giving you what you want as far as treatment..? Do you like them..? Do you trust them..? If not, go elsewhere, you owe it to yourself.
Your not in this boat alone, dear... we're here for you.
Don't be discouraged. Remember, I've had 15 years to adjust my life and expectations.
Thank you Angela.
I'm currently in the hospital again, for the 4th time, now this time they did things a bit different. They did the 3 times of the Steriod IV. And then the MRI, so surprise, surprise, no new lesions on my spine. They say it was probably a small one that is too small to be detected on the MRI.
So, going home tomorrow.
Thanks for being here.
Hope things are well.
Angela said:Don't be discouraged. Remember, I've had 15 years to adjust my life and expectations.